Polished Embalmer
by Viorose
Summary: Sasori quite liked his job, it was quite and calm, until the local highschool decides that the incoming seniors need experience. Sasori is set up with a blonde with no respect for the red head; but its still not as bad as his friends student. Rated M for language
1. Chapter 1

**Yeah Yui knows she needs to work on her other story but this idea has been bugging me for awhile. I'm trying my best to keep the two in character. the important question is do you want this to be romance or friendship? I leaning towards romance but I'll write it more friendshipy if its wanted pfft. **

* * *

Sasori was not a man to wait, so that's why he was struggling, horribly mind you, waiting for his 'assistant' that the local highschool deemed good enough for him. As far as the red head knew the school just randomly generated positions, not taking the students interests as reference. So obviously his student was not interested in this profession.

Truthfully Sasori enjoyed his job and was disappointed that people had so little interest in it nowadays. What was his proffession? The red head was the town mortician and coroner, and yes he loved his job and done it like it was an art.

Though he was quite glad that he, as far as he knew, hadn't received an imbecile like his friend Kakuzu. It seemed the man had recieved an albino who swore like a sailor on a bad day. Sasori knew that he wouldn't have been able to handle such a monstrosity. Kakuzu had a worse temper than himself, and he couldn't help but wonder how the poor man was holding up.

The sound of the door opening snapped Sasor out of his thoughts. He rush to the front of the building to scold the student for being late. Sasori's eyes fell on a blonde and his mind drew a blank. He frowned quickly though to show his displeased mood. The blonde gave a sheepish grin. "Sorry for being late, I had a hard time finding the place and I live on the other side of town un," That's right, Sasori's building did have a strange location.

After the blondes excuse, Sasori decided to cut the kid a break since it was the first day. "Fine, just be on time tomorrow, or I'll report to the school," Sasori muttered grouchily. The blonde frowned, not expecting such a reply. "What's your name kid?" The blonde frowned more, if that was even possible.

"I'm not a kid yeah,"

"Whatever, what's your name?"

"Tell me yours first un," boy was this kid a pistol, but Sasori was glad he didn't have a mouth like the fabled albino. "Fine," The redhead decided to be the bigger person. "My name is Sasori Akasuna, you may call me Mr. Akasuna," Sasori decided to keep it simple.

"Like hell I will un,"

"E-Excuse me?" Sasori was shocked by the blondes disrespect.

"I'll call you..." The blonde was thinking intently. "Danna un," He smirked satisfied with the new name for the red head. Sasori was not happy with it however, how could this kid act in such a manner?

The boys phone went off and he answered without asking if it was okay with Sasori, since he was after all 'on the job'. "My mom says she wants me to come home now," the blonde said after hanging up. He then made his way to the door.

"Wait!" Sasori called angrily.

"By the way, the names Deidara un," he Lordy closing the door behind him. Leaving Sasori looking shocked.

* * *

_Later that day_

"So, you're telling me the kid put up a fight about telling you his name?" Kakuzu couldn't believe what he was hearing from the red head across from him.

"Yes, and you should of seen him, it was like I was looking at a 2-cent drag queen," Sasori said in a hushed tone. "I imagine your day was worse than mine though,"

"Not really, all I needed was some nice duck tape and my dogs shock collar," Kakuzu confessed. The red head couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

"Did you ever even use that collar on your dog?" Sasori asked. Kakuzu chuckled as well.

"No, I just couldn't because he would always give me this sad look," Kakuzu said picking at the plate of food in front of him. Sasori had offered to buy the two dinner after the traumatic meeting with the high schoolers. So of course Kakuzu, being the cheap ass he is, couldn't pass up the free meal.

"What class are they even in?" Sasori asked.

"Incoming Seniors, the school picked out businesses one week before school ended, so they would have all summer to work," The miser explained. Sasori nodded, stuffing another forkful in his mouth.

"I'm surprised, they act like middle schoolers," Sasori said finally after swallowing his food. "We never acted like that in highschool," he added And Kakuzu nodded in agreement.

"True, but we did do some pretty stupid stuff," Kakuzu said. "Remember when you had a crush on if science teacher and you let him fuck you?"

"So?"

"In the middle of the fucking school day," Kakuzu laughed And Sasori pouted angrily.

"Mr. Sandaime was hot okay, you would've done it too," Sasori said defensively.

"Yeah I would've," Kakuzu admitted.

Sasori didn't have very many friends and Kakuzu was the only one who actually spoke to him regularly but maybe it's because they had been friends in highschool; Despite Kakuzu being a whole class ahead of Sasori. What made things better was that their work buildings were situated fairly close, so it was easy to see each other.

The fact was that many people thought the two were dating, but the fact was that neither of the two had interest in each other. Sasori liked having at least one person to speak to about the pains of the new generation.

The red head and the miser were glad that they had still maintained their friendship over the years. Sasori mind still wondered to the blonde boy, still displeased with his behavior. He would be sure to show the kid that he's no one to mess with or to push over.

* * *

**Annnnd there's chapter one! Okay not the most interesting chapter in the world but meh. Also I was wondering if you guys would like to see Kakuzu's experience in the next chapter? So yeah...um please R&amp;R :'D**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'd like to thank olppaemi, ThwippThwipp, and bitterness11 for dropping a review on the first chapter! Sorry for such a long wait, I've been busy with graduation tests and whatnot so I haven't had time to type recently haha;;**

**Anyways I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

The second day the miser had to deal with his foul mouthed student and he was none too pleased with the high school's choice. He looked over the letter they had sent him after Hidan had complained to the school about the day before.

_Dear Mr. Kakuzu Taki_

_ Now as principal of Daller High School, I know how troubling some students can be. However, putting a shock collar on a student for, and I quote, "for being a whiney bitch" to the customers is inexcusable and will not tolerated. You are lucky Ms. Yuu and her son decided to not press charges. Please Mr. Taki try to control your anger better or please seek professional help._

_Sincerely Yours,_

_ Robert Steiner_

"I didn't even have it set on high," Kakuzu grumbled angrily, tossing the letter in the trash without a second thought. He rubbed his temples in an attempt to soothe his increasing headache and it was doing very little. Oh the school was disappointing him severely with this whole ordeal, really he expected better of the school and the school board. Soon the sound of the front door opening could be heard and Kakuzu let out a low growl.

"Oi fucker!" Oh joy the hoodlum decided to actually come back. The miser heard the albino's approaching footsteps and snapped his head upwards. Kakuzu glared at the albino occupying the doorway into in his office. "So what lawyer-y shit are we fuckin' doin' today?" He asked.

"Hidan" The miser's patience was wearing thin. "One, Lawyer-y isn't a word,-'

"so fuckin' what?"

A small pause. _'Try to compose yourself kuzu, come on, it's just a high school kid trying to provoke you,'_

"Two, we aren't doing shit because _someone _ran off my customers yesterday." Kakuzu managed to grit out

"Ain't my fault you're ugly as shit," Hidan retorted.

"Hidan?" The older male growled.

"Yeah fucker?"

"Bring me the collar _now_,"

The albino gave a snide smirk and replied "Gladly Kuzu,"

* * *

"So how was your day with mister cheap ass, un?" Deidara asked.

"Probs better than your day with mister hard ass," Hidan laughed. Deidara shook his head and laughed along.

"It wasn't too bad, I mean he swatted me with a newspaper once or twice and said bad kitty when he done it but that was pretty much it un," The blonde smiled giving a fake meow for emphasis. The albino grunted in acknowledgement, taking a swig of the soda in front of him and stuffed a handful of fries in his mouth.

"Kuzu wasn't bad, He put the collar on me again but you know I'm into that fucking shit," He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively causing the blonde to burst into laughter. "My mom fucking saw the marks from yesterday and called the school about it, that fuckin' bitch," He added in an angry grunt.

"Jesus Hidan, your gonna give that man a heart attack, un" Deidara chuckled out.

"Nah he's got a fucking heart of a bull," The albino muttered.

Now while these two numbskulls were enjoying their chat at the classy local McDonalds, the two adults were having a more sophisticated conversation at a pub located downtown that was known for watering down their drinks; well except on St. Patrick's day.

"I swear to god this one client today had the biggest tits I've ever seen," Sasori gushed, drunk off his ass.

"So what, like a B-cup?" Kakuzu joked causing the redhead to hiss in annoyance at him. "But no, seriously what I was saying before; I think that fucking kid wants me to put the fucking shock collar on him. Like He was far too delighted to put on," The miser confessed and then chugged his third glass that night.

"M-Maybe he's a machinist, yanno?" The red head slurred looking at Kakuzu from the corner of his eye. The red head tried to flag down a bartender so he could order another drink.

"I think you mean masochist, and your wasted as to all hell," Kakuzu said looking over to his drunk friend and stopped the red head from ordering another drink even though he tried to put up a fight .

"No, I'm not, shut up," Sasori argued his voice rising in pitch and he sent a glare at the unreasonably taller male. Kakuzu just shook his head and asked for the bill and Sasori whined in the process.

"You always were a light weight, Saso," The miser muttered.

"If I'm so fucking drunk Kuzu, how am I supposed to get home hmm?" Sasori questioned, struggling with his coat worse than a little kid.

"Look I'll drive you home but you'll owe me $20," Kakuzu offered.

"Okay d-deal,"

* * *

**Okay um wowie long time no update huh? Anyways thanks for reading please drop a review :^)**

**-Yui**


End file.
